Generic tips-musing- advice on how to survive a narcissistic relationship
I believe the purpose of some our suffering is to equip us to become an instrument of God’s healing. After Jesus heals you God will bring people into your life who need healing. You won’t have to look for them. People will see-sense your healed wounds. Your healing wounds will give “the credentials”, you will need to be God’s instrument of healing.
“Indeed, your scars may be your greatest ministry. Just as the scars of Jesus convinced Thomas, perhaps your scars will convince someone today.” – Adrian Rogers / Love Worth Finding
The following is what has helped me to heal and cope with an on going situation.
- Confess your faults, sins, weakness to someone
- Avoidance-avoid those who hurt you. If you do visit these people do it with someone else. Let someone else deal with these people. You need to learn to handle false guilt and shame that they heap on you in the desert. If you try to patch, fix the relationship or situation or avenge yourself the offender will turn on you.
It seems that the narcissist has a certain inner sense or gifting of knowing what inflicts emotional, physical or social pain. The narcissist knows what make you feel good and bad and will give doses of this. The narcissist is an opportunist and will tell the truth when it suits his-her benefit.
- The Bible gives instruction what to do when faced with various situations
- Sometimes you need to Avoid Unhealthy Soul Ties with certain types of people(Psa 1:1-6). Study the book of proverbs and learn how to Avoid fools, mockers, angry people.
- Don’t retaliate. Give up your Vengeance. Genesis tells us that Joseph had a choice to retaliate but instead he did the opposite. For me I find when I have the opportunity to get even I ask myself how long with I feel good if I do this action. Will it be worth it?
Romans 12:21(KJV) 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good
- Don’t over vocalize or rehearse by dramatize the incident too much. Just talk enough to get it out of your system. Over Vocalizing or dramatizing the incident with the same tone, facial expression is like picking on a scab on your knee, it will bleed.
- Don’t plot, scheme do anything illegal, unethical, unprincipled unscrupulous immoral instead come against the evil with good. If you can fight legally do so.
- Craft Prayers That Express Your Situation. Sometimes like Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:10-15, the pain is so indescribable that you open your mouth and nothing comes out. I suggest that you find the words that describe your situation and pray them out loud.
- Find a prayer partner who has gone through a similar experience and pray with them. You pray and then they pray.