Habits to acquire and break
1: They move on. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
2: They keep control. They don’t give away their power.
1 Corinthians 6:12 (KJV) 12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
Galatians 5:18-26 (KJV)
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
Ephesians 4:24King James Version (KJV)
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Colossians 3:10King James Version (KJV)
10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him
1 Corinthians 10:23(KJV) 23 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify no
3: They embrace change. They welcome challenges.
4: They stay happy. They don’t complain. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control.
5: They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up. They don’t worry about pleasing other people.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASB)
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [a]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things
2 Timothy 2:24-25 (KJV) 24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
6: They are willing to take risks. They weigh the risks and benefits before taking action.
7: They invest their energy in the present. They don’t dwell on the past.
Philippians 3:12-14 (KJV) 12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus
8: They accept full responsibility for their past behavior. They don’t make the same mistake over and over.
FOOL DOG VOMIT
Proverbs 26:11King James Version (KJV) 11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly
9: They celebrate other people’s success. They don’t resent that success.
Philippians 1:17-18(KJV) 17 But the other of love, knowing that I am set for the defence of the gospel. 18 What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.
Romans 12:3 (KJV) 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
10: They are willing to fail. They don’t give up after failing. They see every failure as a chance to improve.
Proverbs 24:16 (KJV) 16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief
11: They enjoy their time alone. They don’t fear being alone.
12: They are prepared to work and succeed on their own merits. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
13: They have staying power. They don’t expect immediate results.
1 Corinthians 15:58 (KJV) 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
Galatians 6:7-8(KJV) 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
1 Corinthians 3:6-8 (KJV) 6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. 7 So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. 8 Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.
14: They evaluate their core beliefs – and modify(move if necessary) as needed
Acts 17:10-11 (KJV) 10 And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. 11 These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV) 15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
2 Timothy 3:16-17(KJV) 16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
15: They expend their mental energy wisely. They don’t spend time on unproductive thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (KJV) 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
16: They think productively. They replace negative thoughts with productive thoughts.
petty thoughts no profit
17: They tolerate discomfort. They accept their feelings without being controlled by them.
2 Corinthians 4:7-10(KJV) 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body
18: They reflect on their progress everyday. They take time to consider what they’ve achieved and where they’re going.
13 THINGS MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE DON’T DO.
- They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
“Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive,” she writes. “Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life.”
It wastes time, creates negative emotions, and hurts your relationships.
The key is to “affirm the good in the world, and you will begin to appreciate what you have,” Morin writes. The goal is to swap self-pity with gratitude.
- They don’t give away their power.
People give away their power when they lack physical and emotional boundaries, Morin writes. You need to stand up for yourself and draw the line when necessary.
If other people are in control of your actions, they define your success and self-worth. It’s important that you keep track of your goals and work towards them.
Morin uses Oprah Winfrey as an example of someone with a strong grip on their power. Winfrey grew up dealing with poverty and sexual abuse, but “she chose to define who she was going to be in life by not giving away her power,” she says.
- They don’t shy away from change.
There are five stages of change, Morin writes: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
Following through with each of the five steps is crucial. Making changes can be frightening, but shying away from them prevents growth. “The longer you wait, the harder it gets,” she says, and “other people will outgrow you.”
- They don’t focus on things they can’t control.
Take back your power, embrace change, face your fears, and train your brain for happiness and success.William Morrow
“It feels so safe to have everything under control, but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic,” Morin writes.
Trying to be in control of everything is likely a response to anxiety. “Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you try controlling your environment,” she says.
Shifting your focus off the things you can’t control can create increased happiness, less stress, better relationships, new opportunities, and more success, Morin writes.
- They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
Oftentimes, we judge ourselves by considering what other people think of us, which is the opposite of mental toughness.
Morin lists four facts about constantly trying to be a people-pleaser: It’s a waste of time; people-pleasers are easily manipulated; it’s OK for others to feel angry or disappointed; and you can’t please everyone.
Dropping your people-pleasing mindset will make you stronger and more self-confident.
- They don’t fear taking calculated risks.
People are often afraid to take risks, whether it’s financial, physical, emotional, social, or business-related, Morin writes. But it comes down to knowledge.
“A lack of knowledge about how to calculate risk leads to increased fear,” Morin writes. To better analyze a risk, ask yourself the following questions: What are the potential costs?Flickr/Mikko Koponen
- What are the potential benefits?
- How will this help me achieve my goal?
- What are the alternatives?
- How good would it be if the best-case scenario came true?
- What is the worst thing that could happen, and how could I reduce the risk it will occur?
- How bad would it be if the worst-case scenario did come true?
- How much will this decision matter in five years?
- They don’t dwell on the past.
The past is in the past. There’s no way to change what happened, and “dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing you from enjoying the present and planning for the future,” Morin writes. It doesn’t solve anything and can lead to depression, she writes.
There can be a benefit to thinking about the past, though. Reflecting on the lessons learned, considering the facts rather than the emotions, and looking at a situation from a new perspective can be helpful, she says.
- They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
Reflecting can ensure you don’t repeat your mistakes. It’s important to study what went wrong, what you could have done better, and how to do it differently next time, Morin writes.
Mentally strong people accept responsibility for the mistake and create a thoughtful, written plan to avoid making the same mistake in the future.
- They don’t resent other people’s success.
Resentment is like anger that remains hidden and bottled up, Morin writes.
Focusing on another person’s success will not pave the way to your own, since it distracts you from your path, Morin writes. Even if you become successful, you may never be content if you’re always focusing on others. You may also overlook your talents and abandon your values and relationships, she says.
- They don’t give up after the first failure.
Theodor Geisel.Dana~man via Flickr
Success isn’t immediate, and failure is almost always an obstacle you will have to overcome. “Take, for example, Theodor Giesel — also known as Dr. Seuss — whose first book was rejected by more than 20 publishers,” Morin writes. And now Dr. Seuss is a household name.
Thinking that failure is unacceptable or that it means you aren’t good enough does not reflect mental strength. In fact, “bouncing back after failure will make you stronger,” Morin writes.
- They don’t fear alone time.
“Creating time to be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful experience, instrumental in helping you reach your goals,” Morin writes. Becoming mentally strong “requires you to take time out from the busyness of daily life to focus on growth.”
Here are some of the benefits of solitude Morin lists in her book:
- Solitude at the office can increase productivity.
- Alone time may increase your empathy.
- Spending time alone sparks creativity.
- Solitary skills are good for mental health.
- Solitude offers restoration.
- They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
It’s easy to get angry at the world for your failures or lack of success, but the truth is no one is entitled to anything. It must be earned.
“Life isn’t meant to be fair,” Morin writes. If some people experience more happiness or success than others, “that’s life — but it doesn’t mean you’re owed anything if you were dealt a bad hand.”
The key is to focus on your efforts, accept criticism, acknowledge your flaws, and don’t keep score, Morin writes. Comparing yourself to others will only set you up for disappointment if you don’t receive what you think you’re owed, she says.
- They don’t expect immediate results.
“A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential,” Morin writes.
Mentally weak people are often impatient. They overestimate their abilities and underestimate how long change takes, she says, so they expect immediate results.
It’s important to “keep your eyes on the prize” and relentlessly work towards your long-term goals. There will be failures along the way, but if you measure your progress and look at the big picture, success will become attainable.